Grief, Concerns and Hope During COVID-19 - Deacon Intern Todd Olberding

“But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.”
As these are the closing words of our reading, I am getting ahead of myself.
We need to start by acknowledging the grief within & around us.  
We are living in a strange land, a COVID world.  A world that is filled with grief.  A grief that is emotional but also physical, social and cultural.
 
Today, it is “normal” for all of us to be experiencing some form of grief. 
Many of us sit with our doors locked, distant from each other and hoping to keep COVID-19 at bay.
We worry about those for whom home is not a safe place.
We grieve for the Holy Days that have been disrupted, Easter without shoulder-to-shoulder singing.
We ache for those who have lost wages, for those whose careers have been disrupted, internships cancelled, and schools closed.
If we could, we might look around to see if anyone is missing. We grieve for those who were forced to die alone and for their families. 
We grieve the loss of over 40,000 in the US and 160,000 in the world.
 
And even as these thoughts press down on us, we also remember the 168 lives lost in the bombing of the Murrah Building at 9:03 on a beautiful morning, twenty-five years ago, today. 
 
While grieving our losses, we also have countless concerns for the future.
When will we able to return to the celebration of birthdays, the planning of weddings and the excitement of graduations?
We may be concerned for our children and our children’s children.
When will we be able to share the peace in person? To reach-out?
And what about football?  Or basketball? 
What will the future look like?
 
We grieve for a world that has been turned upside down.  We can relate to the call of the Psalmist when he cries – “Protect us, O God”
 
I see many parallels in our Gospel lesson from John.  As the story begins, the disciples are facing many of the same experiences of grief.
Most of the disciples are sequestered in a small room behind a locked door in fear for their lives. If they killed Jesus, they reasoned, the leadership would certainly be looking for them.
Just a short week earlier, they were celebrating with shouts of Hosanna! Hosanna! as they followed Jesus into Jerusalem.
While they had witnessed God working through Jesus in his “deeds of power, wonders, and signs”, they must have felt powerless.
They had shared their lives with Jesus for the past few years – now what? They too were out of work!
And even with the words of Mary Magdalene given to them earlier, they were unable to understand. 
 Surely, their world had been turned upside down too.
 
And where is Thomas?  Has something happened to him?  Was he in hiding elsewhere?  Was he out looking for signs?
And don’t we all relate a little to Thomas.
Don’t we want someone to “show us”. 
Don’t we want someone to explain how to move forward.
Surely COVID-19 doesn’t make sense
Our minds are filled with doubts
It would appear hope is lost – as it says in Luke 24

 
But born of grief, comes Hope
 
As recorded – “But God raised him up, having freed him from death”
 
And in Acts
“I saw the Lord always before me,
 for he is at my right hand so that I will not be shaken;
my flesh will live in hope.
For you will not abandon my soul to Hades”
 
What happens to announce this turn around?
Jesus appears. It’s funny but there aren’t any details to explain this act.  It just happens. 
Jesus appears to the disciples, showing the marks that the world had left while at the same time saying:
“Peace be with you”. 
And they rejoice! 
 
Now they know it was not they who had chosen him, but he had chosen them.  Jesus entrusts them with the same mission he had received from the Father.  By the Holy Spirit, they are given the power, to bring the forgiveness of sins into the world.
 
And as for Thomas, the one with whom we so often associate doubt, what do we know?  Was it really doubt, or did he mistrust his fellow disciples to tell the story?  But Jesus appears to him too.  And his response, “My Lord and My God.  All of his doubt was washed away.
 
And what about us.  We cannot place our hands in the side of Jesus but we can see the Holy Spirit at work all around.  It just happens
We see people appear, reaching out to help each other. 
We see family sharing their food.
We saw people run to the Murrah Building to help.  Some of you are here.
 
We are all witness to the "miracle" of doubt turning into faith, fear into hope.
 
While we cannot see what lies ahead, let us remember the words of Martin Luther King Jr.
“Take the first step in faith, you don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
So while we give voice to our grief and concerns, Jesus is there to hear our prayers.
While the future is unclear, Jesus appears to us to enlighten the way.   
While we too will leave this world with the marks, the scars of living, we know we did not choose but have been chosen. 
We will, by God’s Grace, be transformed and welcomed.
These (words) are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.”
We have been called to respond. 
To shout He is Risen, He Is Risen Indeed
To close, I have adapted a prayer from America’s Youth Poet Laureate, Amanda Gorman
                             
O Holy One, receive our grief.
In this chaos, may we discover clarity.
For from our grief come the seeds of gratitude
Lord, hear our prayer
The question isn't if we will weather this unknown,
But how we will weather this unknown together.
Lord, hear our prayer
Ensure that this ache wasn't endured in vain:
May we not ignore the pain. Give it purpose. Use it.
Lord, hear our prayer
May we hear the Peace you offer
May we respond to your call.
Lord, hear our prayer
Let every dawn find us courageous, brought closer;
Heeding the light of Christ before and within us.
                        Lord, hear our prayer
 
And with celebration in our voices and in our hearts, let us say,
Alleluia,
He is risen,
He is risen indeed
Amen.


​~ Deacon Intern Todd Olberding